Geek Rules

‘Tis the season to give gifts! But what can the geek guy give?

General Gift Giving Dos

• Most women like gifts to be something special that they wouldn’t buy for themselves, like a cashmere scarf, or designer wallet, or good tickets to a concert.
• Do take the extra time and effort to personalize any gift you give and show you care.
• Stay within your budget. Don’t try to wow her with an expensive gift you can’t afford. You’ll most likely scare her.
• Don’t be afraid to ask her friends or even ask her. It doesn’t have to be complete surprise.

Gift Giving Don’ts

• Don’t buy clothes. Unless you know her and her size very well and that she has pointed out something she specifically wants.
• Don’t buy something you like and she doesn’t. If she hates the cold, don’t buy her a snowboard because you love boarding.
• Don’t get her something geeky unless she is geeky. She may not want you to set her up with a blog or a website.
• Don’t get her something she already has. You can ask her in conversation or ask a friend of hers.
• Don’t overbuy. Don’t buy a casual dater an iPod. Get something that is appropriate and won’t scare her away or make her feel bad for taking you to an indie show at Café du Nord.

Step One – Figure out how special (or not) your relationship with the gift-ee is.

• Significant Other- This one shouldn’t be too tough to place. This is your wife, your partner, your ‘other half’, someone you love.
• Semi-serious- This is a little tougher to place because it is generally the ‘in between’ stage. You aren’t quite ‘serious’ but you care about this women and you are more than casually dating. You are most likely exclusive.
• Casual- You like her at least a little and you’ve been on a few dates with her. You may be interested in dating her but you’re not at that point in the relationship yet.

Step 2- What to buy.
Significant Other- You should know your significant well enough to have some good ideas. Think about her hobbies, sports, interests.

• Sports or hobby equipment. Get something cool for their hobby that they want but wouldn’t really buy for themselves. This is a great gift if you share her interest in the hobby and it’s something you do together. A nice warm down sleeping bag for the outdoorsy woman. Go to REI and they will steer you in the right direction. A rad snowboard or warm coat for cold times in Tahoe. A scuba diving computer. I have a Sunnto Mosquito, and I highly recommend it.
• iPod Video. This one is a popular on almost everyone’s list, but go the extra mile and load it with a bunch of her music, photos, and podcasts. She will definitely love you for taking the extra time and effort.
• Surprise her with a weekend away. You can take the trip anytime and there are no shortage of options in the Bay Area: Wine country, Mendicino, Russian River, San Simeon, Paso Robles, Tahoe. You don’t need to go very far to find romance, peace, quiet and some time to enjoy each other away from the city madness. The important thing with the trip gift is to take care of all the details so all she has to do is pack and go.

‘Semi-Serious’ Partner. This category is a bit confusing and gift giving can be more difficult. You must be careful not to overbuy and pressure the lass, but you also must show some effort so she doesn’t feel like a casual dater.

• Toned down sports or hobby equipment. For the camper, camping accessories, like a comfy camping chair, a soft shell for the Tahoe fan, or even silk long underwear because she probably wouldn’t buy them for herself.
• Events. A semi-special event for your semi-special girl. Take her to The Nutcracker or a concert. Try The Filmore or Yoshi’s for jazz . Need brownie points with her friends? Be the designated driver for them on a girls night out.
• iPod Accessories. Don’t give this girl an Ipod. It’s too much. Do give her a cradle, connector, remote or other accessories.
• Good Vibrations. If she is sexually open and you have that kind of relationship get her a toy from Good Vibrations. You can both enjoy that. Watch out though, the rabbit might replace her need for you. Kidding
• Classes. Pay for, schedule, and plan for her (and potentially you too) to take classes she’s been wanting to take. Try the Metronome in SF or Stitch for craft sewing classes.

Casual Dater. For this chick, show you care, a bit, but not too much. Your gift should reflect a certain amount of thoughtfulness.

• Books. Give her one of your favorite books or check the New York Times bestseller list. Or give her one of my current favorites,
  The Posionwood Bible, The Kite Runner , A Million Little Pieces. Write something personal in it. Nothing cheesy, something simple like ‘it’s been fun getting to know you’.
• Plants. An Orchid or Christmas Cactus is nice.
• Events. This is the very toned down event. A dinner, a hike with a picnic, a day in Napa, a show.
• Board games. You’re a geek – get something semi-cerebral or at least fun like Cranium, Scrabble or Trivial Pursuit Pop Culture DVD

Happy Gift Giving you Geeks! Happy Holidays Too!