Geek Rules

Online dating is the 100 pound gorilla in the closet. We all like to pretend it’s not there whilst peeking in on it and tickling its furry armpits every once in while ‘just to see if it works’. In episode 13 of Geek Rules, we explore Where and How to date online.

Where can you find people online? There is no shortage of sites to meet people online. Here are a few GR favorites in the social networking, pure play dating, and miscellaneous categories.

In case you’ve been living under a rock and your geekiness is unrelated to the WWW, Social Networking is an online way to extend your network and reach through spiderwebbing your friends and theirs.

• Tribe.net – SF party crew, a bit underground, great for finding parties and social events.
• Friendster.com: A bit corporate and old school with early adopter users and a less slick GUI than its competitors. Users are older than teenagers in general.
• Myspace.com – Amazingly popular with music groups, fans, and teens.

Pure play dating sites

• Nerve.com – Alternative, edgy, sexually charged.
• Match.com – Mainstream. Abundance of users but the men seem questionable – looking to get laid or plug a wife into their fully baked life.
• eHarmony.com – Terribly long drawn out application that yields few matches because few make it through the application process.

Miscellaneous fun sites to meet people

• Consumating.com – We had consumating.com founder ben brown on GeekRules in January. It’s very web 2.0, slick, and cool but perhaps not the best place to pick up a date.
• Yelp.com – Primarily user contributed restaurant reviews. It’s not *really* for dating but if you’re a foodie you might have some luck.
• Craigslist.org – Personals are a bit dirty now-a-days. Be prepared for a lot of naked penis responses. The anonymousness of it really appealing to the naked folks.

How? Set up a decent profile, hit on people, and proceed to a live meeting.

Set up a profile.

• Photos- Diverse, recent, real.
• Profile- Put some effort into this. Make it interesting and light but say a few ‘real things’. Use it as a tool to attract the people you want.
• Grow your network. Connect to your friends and their friends. The key to social networking is being connected.

Now your profile is up and your waiting for people to approach you. You need to take matters into your own hands as well. Find people you might be interested in.

• Browse through your friends and their networks.
• Search for people with certain hobbies, schools, or interest. For example, search for guys within 10 miles that bike, or girls aged 25-30 that went to Stanford.

Now you’ve identified some targets, how do you approach them?

• Write a short email. This is like saying hi in ‘real life’. Let them decide if they are interested in getting back to you.
• Be patient. Don’t bug them with follow up emails. They may use an old email address in their profile. It may take them awhile (months even) to get back to you. Don’t sweat it.

They wrote back. Now what?

• Once you’ve written a few messages to each other and still have some interest, its time to share your personal email. This makes communication much easier.
• Now it’s time to ask for a real in person date. Use common sense – meet the stranger in a public place and keep it casual (coffee, casual dinner, etc).
• Listen to Our Back to Basics Series for general dating tips.

Have fun. Use your online expertise to score a date.